Q4 – All I wanna do is buy a new YSL bag and book a flight to Paris.
Archive
9-19-24
Kimsooja at the Bourse – Can you believe the nomadic artist’s installation won’t be there forever?
The Hills of California – Jez Butterworth tries to do Eugene O’Neill with the Kardashians, okay.
8-19-24
Le Relais de Venise – Where Hemingway would have eaten in Paris when he was poor.
Kamala 2024 – Because I need to be able to say, “The President of the United States didn’t get married until she was 49 or have kids of her own, but then she met rich, cute, nice Jewish guy Doug Emhoff and found his kids to be as lovable as Pomeranians.”
The Bear (season 3) – Pure rehashed montage—David Mamet would never.
6-1-24
Ripley – There’s NO WAY Ripley could survive that boating accident and you can’t improve upon that scene cinematically just by making it longer—and, anyway, was there ever anyone so beautiful as Jude Law or as young and skinny as Matt Damon in his lime green bikini in the 1999 movie (pictured at top)?
5-28-24
Leaving Las Vegas (1995) – Because deep down inside aren’t we all just suicidal alcoholics and prostitutes who need a little tenderness and companionship?
An Enemy of the People – Max subscribers going to Broadway for the first time who don’t know how to silence their phones to watch Succession’s eldest boy go from zero to emoting shirtless on his knees in a pile of ice sponsored by Aquavit in the round in an Ibsen play severely whittled by Amy Herzog—I don’t think so!
3-1-24
Poor Things – I’m tired of watching movies about women made by male filmmakers.
Emerald Fennel’s Saltburn – More movies by Academy Award-winning filmmakers should end with an exuberant full frontal male nude dance sequence.
The Possession by Annie Ernaux – More books with Nobel Prize winner stickers on their covers should start with: “The first thing I did after waking up was grab his cock—stiff with sleep—and hold still, as if hanging onto a branch. I’d think, ‘as long as I’m holding onto this, I am not lost in the world.’”
Oppenheimer – A too-long movie about a bomb that doesn’t even show the bomb and wins the Oscar over Barbie?
Barbie – If it doesn’t win all the awards, it will further prove the patriarchy we live in today.
Kimika – Maybe there’s a reason Italian and Japanese cuisines never before fused.
