From the creative mind of flamboyant Argentinian hotelier Alan Faena, the Faena Hotel Miami Beach is a luxurious fantasia dripping in gold, red and tiger print with high profile collaborators, including filmmaker Baz Luhrmann and his Academy Award-winning wife Catherine Martin as “creative consultants.”
Location 8/10
Situated oceanfront in the heart of mid-beach, Faena developed the narrow, roughly eight block strip of land between 32nd and 36th streets, which was anointed the Faena District by the City of Miami Beach when the hotel opened in 2015. Today, in addition to the hotel at 32nd Street, the district also includes the Faena Forum and Faena Bazaar, both used as arts, events and pop-up spaces, the Casa Faena boutique hotel (an excellent budget-friendly alternative) and a condo. The forthcoming uber-luxury Aman Miami Beach will soon break ground here with a shared developer in Len Blavatnik. While technically 10 blocks north of South Beach, this former no man’s land has become one of Miami Beach’s ritziest stretches of sand.
“My guests are confused and exhausted but at this hour they pull themselves together and drift downstairs on the wings of gin…”
Gutman, the proprietor of Siete Mares in ‘Camino Real’ by Tennessee Williams, 1953
Design 9/10
With its over the top, theatrical design flourishes, it’s easy to feel like the main character in your own Baz Luhrmann movie here. The gilded cathedral entrance bears eight “neo-romantic” murals by Argentinean artist Juan Gatti and a custom soundtrack by DJ Henrietta for a New Age-y reverential effect.
The Living Room Lounge is upholstered in rich ruby and silky tiger prints with a show-stopping, gold chandelier of exposed bulbs. Outside on the pool deck, the now iconic Damien Hirst woolly mammoth skeleton dipped in 24-karat gold stands casually inside a glass case with palm trees swaying overhead.
Amenities & Hospitality 9/10
Faena is home to the dreamy Tierra Santa Healing House spa, a pool, beach service and gym. There’s also the Faena Theater, which stages cabaret-style musical revues and concerts by visiting artists.
When I checked in, shortly after the hotel’s opening, I was gracefully shepherded from the porte-cochere up the white terrazzo steps and handed off from one smiling attendant to the next like a baton in a beautifully choreographed relay, eventually landing on the eighth floor with my butler. This level of service was maintained throughout my three-night stay. From restaurant staff to beach attendants, hospitality was genuinely friendly and skilled with a well-trained team that consistently delivered stellar service.
Rooms 9/10
Faena’s guest rooms are amongst the most beautiful and luxurious in Miami. I stayed in an ocean view suite outfitted with bright turquoise velvet drapes that looked as if they were plucked from a proscenium stage in Montmartre. Now, they frame a sitting room with a luscious red velvet sofa, overstuffed coral-patterned armchairs and a plush Deco area rug designed by Martin. Animal print accents, brushed gold fixtures and diamond-patterned wood furnishings abound. Most rooms have balconies, while oceanfront rooms offer superior views. One snafu: the bed was on the firm side and the sheets felt oddly scratchy and low thread count for such lux digs.
The bathroom, with its turquoise herringbone-patterned tile floor, enormous white plaster soaking tub, red pouf seat and vanity lamp with a line of exposed bulbs, made me feel like Satine backstage at the Moulin Rouge.
Food & Beverage 9/10
The star of Faena’s culinary showing is Los Fuegos, the first North American restaurant by legendary Argentinean asado grill master Chef Francis Mallmann. The rib eye with chimichurri haloed by crispy domino potatoes is transcendent. The hotel is also home to Pao by James Beard Award-winning Chef Paul Qui with inventive pan-Asian cuisine underneath a dramatic domed ceiling in a dining room overlooking the ocean, as well as El Secreto Omakase bar.
If you just want a peek at the opulence, make a reservation or try your luck snagging a spot at Living Room Lounge for cocktails. Their speakeasy-style Saxony Bar, with a somewhat hidden entrance along the hotel’s southern exterior, has become one of my favorite spots for an elegant cocktail that can easily devolve into debauchery.
Breakfast, served at Los Fuegos, delivers with tantalizing dishes like jumbo lump crab and chimichurri scrambled eggs, along with lighter starts like an açai bowl or fresh-pressed juice.
Value 9/10
Rates from approximately $500 in low season and $775 in high; Book
The Bottom Line
Over-the-top opulence from visionary Argentinean hotelier Alan Faena, this oceanfront resort is a luxurious fantasia worthy of, at the very least, a cocktail at Living Room Lounge if not a stay inside one of Miami’s most beautiful hotel rooms.
Contact
3201 Collins Avenue, Miami Beach, FL 33139; 305-534-8800; faena.com.
